Day 115 - Trouble

I don't know what is wrong with me.  It's like I'm sleepwalking through my classes, doing only what's required of me and ignoring the rest.  Most people around here understand and don't ask much of me.

Only Professor Ateia is making trouble for me, but is that any surprise?  I wasn't back for more than a day when she demanded that I sing in her class.  The thought of singing a song, after all I had been through in the last few weeks, made me tear up.  I shook my head, fearful that if I spoke, I would begin to cry.

"You do not say no to one of your professors," she demanded, "Stand up and sing, girl, or I shall send you to the headmaster."

I stood as instructed and with shaking hands, tried to sing, but nothing would come out!  It was as if I was mute.

The professor stomped over to where I stood and grabbed my arm, "That's it.  To the headmaster's office with you.  Maybe he can get you to sing."

She escorted me to the door and give me a shove towards the stairs, "Off with you.  And don't come back until you can sing something to me."

I burst into tears and raced down the stairs.  But I didn't go to the headmaster's office but rather to my cubicle, where I laid on the bed and cried.  I remained there throughout lunch and Professor Germane's class.

It was only when I heard everyone leave for dinner that I tiptoed out of my room.  If I was quiet enough, I would be able to sneak out of the college and attend my sword lesson without anyone knowing I was gone.  I was just grateful that this was a day they didn't hold a regular defense class at the Dour.  I didn't think I would be able to face my fellow students, not after breaking down that morning.

As I was tiptoeing my way across the entryway, I heard Headmaster Viarmo talking to someone in his office.  I stopped when I heard him mention my name.

"I understand your impatience, Pantea, but please take it easy on the girl.  She just lost her father-"

"My father died five years ago," I heard Professor Ateia say, "And I still stepped up on that stage and performed for the King that night."

"Yes, Pantea," Professon Germane said, "But not all of us are as heartless as you."

"You take that back, Giraud Germane!"

"Okay, okay," Viarmo said, "Calm down.  There's no reason to start a fight.  I'm just asking that you take it easy on Ms. Willowbranch.  She's taking the death of her father hard and you pushing her is not helping her."

"Fine," I heard Ateia rise to her feet, "I will take it easy on her.  Now, if you'll excuse me."

I made a hasty retreat the moment I heard her footsteps heading for the entryway, almost running for the door that led outside.